I hate all girls vehemently.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
