'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
