"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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