That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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