discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
