We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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