He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
