I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
