I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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