He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
