I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
