At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
