I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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