I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize