Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough