i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
