My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS