I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.