I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
