Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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