dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
