You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think i have two assholes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
