Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize