Its about making memories worth repressing
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
