why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
