Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She's JV to your varsity
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
