thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
