Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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