am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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