Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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