At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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