i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
