im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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