A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
