I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
