I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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