I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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