she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize