There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
