I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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