I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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