Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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