the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
