I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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