If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
