I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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