Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The ass gains better be worth it
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