Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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