I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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