Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
