Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just invented taco cereal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
