I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
