omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
