I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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