it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We are all done wearing pants today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
