you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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