big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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