I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
