$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can I color on your dick again?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The Olympian is in my bed
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
