How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize