you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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