this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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