after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
