After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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