My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I sprained my soul last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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