last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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