Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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