i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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