At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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