hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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