Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
